The Complete List of Golf Slang!

1. A Nipple licker – shot which opens up the hole
2. A Worm f***er – well struck shot, but which doesn’t get off the ground
3. A Sally Gunnell – ugly runner
4. A Paula Radcliffe – not as ugly as a Sally Gunnell but still a good runner
5. A Brazil – putt which shaves the hole close
6. On the dance floor – on the green
7. Does your husband play? – for when someone hits a short tee shot
8. Houston, we have re-entry – for whenever someone skies one off the tee
9. A Paris Hilton – an expensive hole
10. Tee Way Back – Chinese for a long hole
11. A Rick Waller – VERY fat…….and ugly…….with no redeeming features whatsoever
12. Gone from Ben Hogan to Hulk Hogan – to go from playing like a God to absolute crap.
13. Putting like a gynaecologist’s assistant – shaving the hole
14.A Diego Maradonna – a very nasty 5 footer
15. A Salman Rushdie – an impossible read
16. A Rock Hudson – thought it was straight, but it wasn’t
17. A Cuban – needs one more revolution
18. An Elton John – a big bender that lips the rim
19. An Adolf Hitler – two shots in the bunker
20. An Eva Braun – picked up in the bunker
21. A Saddam Hussein – go from bunker to bunker
22. A Yasser Arafat – ugly and in the sand
23. A Kate Winslett – little bit fat but otherwise perfect
24. A Kate Moss – bit thin
25. A Gerry Adams – playing a Provisional
26. A Michael Barrymore – a long iron
27. A Glen Miller – kept low and didn’t make it over the water
28. An Arthur Scargill – a great strike but a poor result
29. An O.J. Simpson – got away with it
30. A Princess Di – shouldn’t have taken a driver
31. A Robin Cook – just died on the hill
32. A Michael Jackson – gradually fading
33. A Douglas Bader – looked good in the air, but didn’t have the legs
34. An Arsene Wenger – everyone saw where it went but you
35. A Ken Livingstone – quite far left
36. A Ladyboy – looks like an easy hole but all may not be what it seems!
37. An elephant’s arse – high and shitty
38. A condom – safe but didn’t feel real good
39. A circus tent – a BIG top
40. An Anna Kournikova – looks great, but unlikely to get a result
41. A Vinnie Jones – nasty kick when you’re not expecting it
42. A Tony Blair – too much spin
43. A Bin Laden – driven out and never to be found again
44. A Jamie Oliver – you really want to smack it but you can’t
45. A Lee Harvey Oswald – three good shots in a row that you don’t know where the hell came from
46. A Red October – underwater and you won’t find it
47. A sister in-law .. Your up there,but know you shouldn’t be
48. A Mother in law – you’re up there but you defiantly know you shouldn’t be